Loss of motivation

First off I want to apologize for not my previous segment.  These past two months have been very hard on me.  My diet has taken a hit, although not as bad as it could be.  However, it seems like I have lost all motivation to my diet and workout routines.  No longer am I really watching what I'm eating, in fact a few days back I ate something that I previously would have passed up on.  I can't seem to control myself right now when eating foods I should avoid like pizza.  Sure that shouldn't be too bad once in a while, however I'm again in the funk of not knowing when to stop and eating past being full.

Losing my father May 21st has been devastating.  I'm extremely happy to have the gospel in my life and have religion so strongly in my life.  Honestly, if it was not for having those in my life I don't know how I would of handled losing two of the closest people in my life in just an 8 month span.  I have a feeling it would have involved drinking, sleeping, and just not doing much.

I'm hoping to come out of this funk soon, I keep trying to motivate myself to get back to working out and eating right.  I'm only at 192 so I have not taken too big of a hit.  I have to make sure however that this does not get out of control.  It is hard, it is real hard.  I'm thankful for my wife and kids who keep me active, but it has to turn around and I need to start eating for health again.  Easier said then done, we'll see what happens...

Extra motivation and help

Walking with friends and family

     A few days ago my wife decided that we would start exercising together as a family.  This morning was the first attempt at this.  The kids were all for it, so we started by turning on some good music, doing a few stretches, and decided to go on a walk.  

     Walks are much more entertaining when you have others to join you.  It was a lot of fun being able to walk with my kids and wife and enjoy each others company.  I would highly recommend finding someone to go with you when you take your walks, it really makes it more desirable.   

     Now instead of fighting with myself on whether or not I will be going for a walk, I would have to fight with my kids and wife too.  That is not something I plan on doing, I've learned.  It is nice to have that extra motivation and drive from others who are excited to exercise.  I think this will help me get over the hump that I have been stuck on for the past few weeks.  I still have more goals to meet.  

June 1st weight loss update!

Unit	May 1st, 2011	June 1st, 2011
Weight	203	198
Waist	39.5	39 in
Hips	38	37 in
Waist to Hip	1.04	1.05
Body Fat %	28.3	27.6

My heart

One thing I've noticed...

     These past few weeks there has been one change I have noticed while losing weight.  This change has been settle but non the less, has occurred.  It is the most exciting thing that has occurred during my diet.  It's not the weight I've loss, the energy I've gained, or the muscles that have been built.  It has to do with my heart.

     I have always had trouble with my heart.  From not allowing me to do sports, to the palpitations I would often get, and even the weird feelings I would get and would stop my life for a few minutes until it felt back to normal.  It has been a struggle and one that I at times was not willing to battle out.  Now that I am losing a lot of weight, I have notice the best change out of everything!

     No longer do I seem to have the palpitations.  I feel like a new man.  My heart does not act up getting out of the shower like it often did for some reason.  No longer does it bog me down when going for walks, or exercising.  This has been my greatest accomplishment to date.  I feel like a new person and have at times even felt like jogging.  Sure it's only a few feet, but I have never had that feeling before in my life and it is a new experience.    

     The question that has started up in my mind is how far do I push it?  I have had my ICD go off on four different occasions on me, and that is not a feeling I wish to have happen again.  But yet there is this yearning inside of me to jog, to play basketball again, or even just to power-walk for a few minutes. 

      So for now I sit here wondering what would happen if I Did try these?  I have a watch that monitors my heart, but would that be enough?  I guess I just keep on at what I'm doing and wait and see, but yet those desires to do the things I haven't been able to in years pull at my heart.  We'll see what happens, for now, one more step at a time.

Break The Walls Down

Breaking down a wall...

     Breaking down a wall can be very tough when it comes to your weight loss adventure. When starting, I set up many goals on the way to my main objective.  The biggest one was the passing of the 200 mark.  This wall, once miles away, is now at my doorstep.


     For years I have been over 200 pounds.  Honestly, I can't tell you how long it has been. I would have to say that the last time I was under the 200 mark would be sometime right before going into high school.  For years I just didn't care about my weight or what I was eating.  Looking back I wish I could take back what I was doing and change my behavior.  Of course this applies to many different situations in my life.  


     The main reason I didn't care about my weight was because I couldn't be an athlete.  So why not just eat the way I wanted to?  Food was good and I didn't want to miss out.  I didn't even think about the fact that the medium pizza I just ate was 2600 calories.  It was good and that was all that mattered.  It may be a little late in life, but I have realized that there is more to eating than, "It tastes good."


     Back to the point, 200 is huge to get under.  I didn't think it was even possible.  I figured I may just have to stay at 220 and call it good.  I have now proven that wrong.  For a week or two I have been close to going under 200.  The see-saw battle I was in finally unveiled a victor.  This morning I stepped onto the scale and on the screen popped 199.  Excited I called Katie into the room just to show her.  This has been one of my goals from the beginning.  Once unachievable, it is now life altering and a new motivation to keep going. My sledgehammer hungers for more walls to break down, and I'm ready for them!

I'm on a see-saw!!!!!!!

The see-saw effect

     201... 205... 203... 206... 202... but at least it has not gone to 210, then again it isn't 200 either.  It can become pretty annoying when your weight keeps alternating like the numbers above.  This is something I have been experiencing the past week or so.  It can be tiring, but I know in the end all of this is one big learning experience.

     What I take from this journey is knowing that in the road of life there are always speed bumps.  Nothing is going to go as planned.  So as one of my favorite songs go, I need to put my shoulder to the wheel.  Weight loss has been an amazing experience.  Where would I be if I would have given up the first time I didn't meet my goal?  Or stopped when I gained instead of lost?  

     I know that I will meet my goal very soon of dropping under 200 pounds.  I know that it is going to keep on taking hard work and determination.  I also know that my objective of weighing 170 will be reached as well.  These things take time and effort and I'm ok with the bumps in the road.

     For now, however, I'm going to keep on this see-saw for as long as I need to until I break through the barriers that are in front of me and destroy my goal.  What I take and learn from here will only strengthen me and prepare me for my next objectives.  One step at a time!  

To stumble is to learn...

Stumbling Blocks shouldn't block you...

     Many times I have fallen during my diets.  I would get to a certain point or a certain weight and be excited with what I had accomplished.  However, it would only take one stumbling block to make me feel like I couldn't maintain it and would give up, reverting to my old ways.  It was one stumble after another after another.  I would allow anything to give me the excuse to quit and not worry about it anymore.  In recent years, since getting married to Kate and having kids, I tried a few times to lose weight.

     The first time I was able to get down to 245 pounds from my 287 weight.  I was going to the gym, working out, and eating better.  Then in April 2008, everything changed.  I was working at my job as a delivery driver and was hit by another driver.  My back received some compression fractures and my knee was injured (resulting in knee surgery).  I decided that losing weight was no longer important, since I wasn't physically able to do much for many months.  I know that is a good reason, but there was no reason for me to start eating the way I did.  I gained back the 40 pounds I had lost.  

     I know that it was hard to exercise while being in a turtle shell and that I was not able to do much, but I didn't track my calories anymore and was eating like I shouldn't have been.  It took me a long time to recover and give losing weight another chance.  You can look at my earlier blog and see my picture from October 2009, I still had all the weight back on me.  

     Between 2009 and up until a few months ago, I was up and down on my weight.  I would go for a few weeks while working out and eating right, just to give up or let one bad day ruin all the progress I had made.  I don't know why but I just could not keep it up.

      In December I knew that my diets would never lead to anywhere and that I was going to stay unhealthy if I didn't make a change.  I needed to lose weight, get healthy, and stop allowing one little hiccup stop me.  I became determined to instead of letting those stumbling blocks get in my way, to instead use them as motivation and create a deeper desire inside of me.  

     I prayed and I broke myself down.  When I was building up my new foundation I prayed and thought about how I can use those stumbling blocks to my advantage.  One thing I found was when I would stumble I needed to see what caused that stumble and how to get around it.  Once I would find the root of the problem, whether it be depression, anger, boredom, or just laziness, I would look at how to use that to my advantage. 

     It's finding that opportunity that seems to be the hardest part about stumbling.  In times of depression or anger, I noticed that yoga would greatly help me with those issues.  Yoga allows me to collect my thoughts and be able to just think about what it is that is bothering me.  On top of that, I would get the exercise I needed by the stretching yoga provides.  

     In times of boredom, I knew that I couldn't just sit around and eat.  I needed to occupy my mind.  Whether I read my scriptures, worked out, or went for a walk, I would find something to do.  It is very important to not let those stumbles get in your way.  I have learned that gaining knowledge and learning from those stumbles makes you stronger and healthier.  

 

Eating Right

The first step to success

     Now that I have given you a little bit of a background on me, I'm now going to tell you what it was that I did to lose the weight I have and continue to drop the pounds.  I have tried many different diets, none of them worked long term.  Many of them would work for a week or two, but it would fail, or I would lose weight for two weeks but quickly gain them back.  I gave up on trying to find the next "big" diet.  I instead decided to do it the right way, learning how to eat right, exercising, and watching my numbers.

     The first thing I did was join Sparkpeople.  This would allow me to not only join a community that helps encourage you, but also allow you to track your numbers from the amount of calories you ate, to fat, to carbs, to just about anything else you can think of.  How is it the most successful people in business make it?  They don't just go into something without a plan.  They set an objective and they take that objective and create goals.  What is your objective?

     My objective has been to become 180 pounds.  After that I will re-evaluate what I have done and see what is left to be done.  But at 287 pounds, that 180 just seemed like a number that was unreachable.  It is hard to have such a far fetched objective when you don't have the goals (milestones) to reach that objective.  It would be like saying I want to be a millionaire.  Okay, great, you want to be a millionaire, now what?  To reach that objective of becoming a millionaire you need to set goals to get there.  Your own personal road map, get education, find a job, save, invest, ect...  

     My first goal was to start tracking my food.  Track what I ate and set the goals I needed to be able to lose weight.  I set up my account with sparkpeople, and then I did some research to find out what it was I needed to do to start losing weight.  I found caloriecount's calculator to be the best to not only set my goal weight, but set when I wanted to reach that weight.

     Now I knew how many calories I should be eating.  I took that number and subtracted 300 calories from it to create a daily calorie range.  For example; at 287 lbs, I needed to eat 2382 to lose 1.5 pounds a week.  So I would take that number and on sparkpeople create a calorie allowance between 2082-2382.  Now I knew what I should be eating each day.  I also had to realize the importance of consuming enough calories and healthy calories. 

     It is a difficult process.  I needed to stop letting excuses get in my way.  Instead of allowing the crap to beat me, I decided it was time for me to win.   I started to exercise.  I started to count the nutritional value of the food I was eating.  It can be hard, but if you want to lose weight (without using a fad diet, pills, or the magical drink), this is where it starts.  It is up to you to sit down and pick out your objective.  From there I set my goals.  First one was to track the food I ate, then exercise.  One step at a time, one goal completion at a time, that is all it takes.  I am so happy and feel so good now that I started this journey.  

Count the calories

Keep track of what you are eating

Set Objectives and goals, without a map, you'll be lost.

It's your life... or is it?

Leading by example

     We have all heard it time over time, "It's my life, I can do what I want with it."  But what happens when we bring kids or a spouse into the picture?  Growing up was tough when having a heart issue.  It was tougher, however, being 12 and watching your Dad (who was only 37 at the time) go through a bypass surgery due to a heart attack.  It was life altering.  

     Before I go too far, I want you to know I think very highly of my father and all he has done for us in his life.  In fact I know he is going to read this, and I really hope he does.  He taught me many things in my life and has given me many great memories and life lessons that I shall never forget.  The one thing he never could teach me, however, was how to eat properly for the health conditions we had.  Our family is rattled by heart issues, but yet if you look at most of us in my generation we still have trouble with our weight.  Almost all of us have had problems with our weight, even though many of us have seen the devastating effects of it.   

     When I decided to have kids, it was up to my wife and me to show them how to take care of our bodies.  We needed to lead by example and know that what we do does not just effect us, it effects everyone that is close to us as well.  Growing up I was almost always obese, I ate whatever I wanted to and didn't do enough to eliminate that.  I have had that problem for almost all of my life.  When I received my realization of myself and what I was doing, it hit me hard that this was more than just me, it affected more than just myself.

     As a 12 year old, it was very hard watching my dad have to go through that surgery.  Being 12, it was confusing to understand exactly what was going on, but I knew something was not right.  My mother was hysterical, rightfully so, and at that time it did not take much to upset her.  Once it was decided that my father would have to be transported to Seattle, we quickly packed up and went to stay with my Grandma while my dad was transported via ambulance.   

     Even after that, the diet did not change very much.  He quit smoking, which was a great blessing, but did not dramatically change his eating habits.  Soon after, he was diagnosed with diabetes and has had other health problems arise.  It was hard growing up watching all of this.  I have seen how these health concerns affected everyone, but did not change myself personally.  I didn't realize that what I was doing and how I was eating mattered to anyone else but me.  Then came the realization that my habits affect the people I care most about.

        When we become husbands, wives, parents, leaders, we are put into a new light.  We are now showing the way for people and I have seen that what I do, how I act, affects everyone that is close to me.  My kids eat like I do.  If I go to McDonald's and eat, guess what...they are going to be headed there as well with me.  It is not right for me to put my family in that situation.  Sure, I know that once in a while it is not going to hurt you, but you have to be careful about how often it happens.  I, for one, will not eat at McDonald's anymore.  I try to stick to Subway or somewhere where I at least know what it is I am eating and I make sure to check the nutrition facts before doing so, that way I know what to have.


     I have decided to start leading by example. I want my kids to see their dad as an inspiration, much like I saw mine.  However, I don't want them to have to experience the numerous heartaches I had to go through as a kid because of how I choose to eat.  It is not just my life, I cannot eat food just because it tastes good or it's just "easy."  I need to eat for my health, for my family, and know that there are still great foods out there if I just try something new.  I have taken the reigns of my health and steered them in a new direction, I hope you do too!  


     I also want to thank my dad.  If it was not for him, I would not be the man I am today.  I know you are reading this and want you to know I love you dearly and thank you.


Live life by showing how to live life
Be the example
Remind yourself, who is watching me?