The Debate...

Last week I was seen by my new cardiac electrophysiology doctor.  He was talking to me about my heart condition and my defibrillator.  While we were talking the subject of being able to run and jog came up.  I told him I wish I would be able to run, as a kid I really could not run because of my heart.  Nor could I jog for that long either. I would quickly become winded and my heart would start to race.  However, now that I have lost all this weight and am on medicine that eliminates the tachycardia heart beats (as long as I don't miss a dose) it crosses my mind often just how great it would be to be able to go for a run.

It's a long shot but I'd absolutely love to do a half marathon.  I look back and wonder just how much of my issues I had as a kid was from asthma.  I never did get checked for asthma, but my parents were both smokers and I would rate my chances pretty high.

The debate is do I chance having my defibrillator going off.  I have a been shocked, I know that at least two of the times I was shocked I am pretty sure I was not taking my medicine regularly like I should have been.  I know that as long as I am taking my medicine on a regular basis I should not have to deal with the tachycardia, that on top of as long as my heart rate does not go to 220 my defibrillator will not go off.      I have a watch that comes with a chest strap that monitors my heart rate continually.

So this is where the debate comes in, do I want to just not even risk it because of my past experiences, or do I want to take the chance?  My plan is to start walking, then speed walk, then speed walk/jog, jog, jog/run, and then run.  I'm just not sure if I'd be able to let myself try.  I will keep everyone updated on which way I end up going, if anyone has suggestions or knowledge of my situation and others who have done what I desire to do please share.

Adam  

The Shocker...

It was shocking to say the least...

     So people who read this blog may wonder just why it is a big deal that I desire to do things like jog around, play basketball, and things along that line.  First off, always being overweight it didn't take long for me to become out of breath and have my heart start acting up.  This would quickly end any sort of moving around.  However, up until I received my ICD implant I was able to do those things, even if just for a short amount of time.  Since the implant, I have not been able to play basketball or anything in that nature.

     A few months after having the device implanted, my parents and I moved into a new home.  I wanted to do something really cool with the landscaping in the backyard.  I decided I would dig out the back hill and create a type of garden that would go down the hill in tiers.  After planning how I would accomplish this and after getting the materials was ready to set off to work.

    I had dug out quite a bit over a period of time with no problem.  However, one day while digging I started to feel something very weird and different go on with my heart.  Suddenly I felt my device do a couple of weird beats followed suddenly by what I can only explain as being so powerfully punched in the chest that I almost fell onto my backside.  The taste of electricity engulfed all of my senses.  A dark cloud quickly washed over my day and a fear had started to be instilled into me.  

    This was the beginning of a new anxiety and fear being instilled into my mental state.  I started to become fearful of doing too much and knew that there were now many things which I could no longer do.  It killed me inside knowing that many of the things I loved were gone.  It was the true beginning of my depression and gaining of weight.  I no longer wanted to do anything more than just live carefully, it would only get worse later.

My heart

One thing I've noticed...

     These past few weeks there has been one change I have noticed while losing weight.  This change has been settle but non the less, has occurred.  It is the most exciting thing that has occurred during my diet.  It's not the weight I've loss, the energy I've gained, or the muscles that have been built.  It has to do with my heart.

     I have always had trouble with my heart.  From not allowing me to do sports, to the palpitations I would often get, and even the weird feelings I would get and would stop my life for a few minutes until it felt back to normal.  It has been a struggle and one that I at times was not willing to battle out.  Now that I am losing a lot of weight, I have notice the best change out of everything!

     No longer do I seem to have the palpitations.  I feel like a new man.  My heart does not act up getting out of the shower like it often did for some reason.  No longer does it bog me down when going for walks, or exercising.  This has been my greatest accomplishment to date.  I feel like a new person and have at times even felt like jogging.  Sure it's only a few feet, but I have never had that feeling before in my life and it is a new experience.    

     The question that has started up in my mind is how far do I push it?  I have had my ICD go off on four different occasions on me, and that is not a feeling I wish to have happen again.  But yet there is this yearning inside of me to jog, to play basketball again, or even just to power-walk for a few minutes. 

      So for now I sit here wondering what would happen if I Did try these?  I have a watch that monitors my heart, but would that be enough?  I guess I just keep on at what I'm doing and wait and see, but yet those desires to do the things I haven't been able to in years pull at my heart.  We'll see what happens, for now, one more step at a time.