To stumble is to learn...

Stumbling Blocks shouldn't block you...

     Many times I have fallen during my diets.  I would get to a certain point or a certain weight and be excited with what I had accomplished.  However, it would only take one stumbling block to make me feel like I couldn't maintain it and would give up, reverting to my old ways.  It was one stumble after another after another.  I would allow anything to give me the excuse to quit and not worry about it anymore.  In recent years, since getting married to Kate and having kids, I tried a few times to lose weight.

     The first time I was able to get down to 245 pounds from my 287 weight.  I was going to the gym, working out, and eating better.  Then in April 2008, everything changed.  I was working at my job as a delivery driver and was hit by another driver.  My back received some compression fractures and my knee was injured (resulting in knee surgery).  I decided that losing weight was no longer important, since I wasn't physically able to do much for many months.  I know that is a good reason, but there was no reason for me to start eating the way I did.  I gained back the 40 pounds I had lost.  

     I know that it was hard to exercise while being in a turtle shell and that I was not able to do much, but I didn't track my calories anymore and was eating like I shouldn't have been.  It took me a long time to recover and give losing weight another chance.  You can look at my earlier blog and see my picture from October 2009, I still had all the weight back on me.  

     Between 2009 and up until a few months ago, I was up and down on my weight.  I would go for a few weeks while working out and eating right, just to give up or let one bad day ruin all the progress I had made.  I don't know why but I just could not keep it up.

      In December I knew that my diets would never lead to anywhere and that I was going to stay unhealthy if I didn't make a change.  I needed to lose weight, get healthy, and stop allowing one little hiccup stop me.  I became determined to instead of letting those stumbling blocks get in my way, to instead use them as motivation and create a deeper desire inside of me.  

     I prayed and I broke myself down.  When I was building up my new foundation I prayed and thought about how I can use those stumbling blocks to my advantage.  One thing I found was when I would stumble I needed to see what caused that stumble and how to get around it.  Once I would find the root of the problem, whether it be depression, anger, boredom, or just laziness, I would look at how to use that to my advantage. 

     It's finding that opportunity that seems to be the hardest part about stumbling.  In times of depression or anger, I noticed that yoga would greatly help me with those issues.  Yoga allows me to collect my thoughts and be able to just think about what it is that is bothering me.  On top of that, I would get the exercise I needed by the stretching yoga provides.  

     In times of boredom, I knew that I couldn't just sit around and eat.  I needed to occupy my mind.  Whether I read my scriptures, worked out, or went for a walk, I would find something to do.  It is very important to not let those stumbles get in your way.  I have learned that gaining knowledge and learning from those stumbles makes you stronger and healthier.  

 

I broke myself down and started over...

I found myself...

     Once I peeled my onion away and looked at what there was, I was amazed at what I had let myself become.  For once in my lifetime, I eliminated everything I had been told about myself and how society told me I should view myself.  I was tired of all of the negativity and how it affected not just me, but also my family.  No longer did I want to allow what the media wanted, but instead what was needed for me, my relationship with God, and my family.  So once I peeled away everything and broke myself down now it was time to find myself and see just what type of a person I was and could be.  

    First thing was first, I had to look at myself and tell myself just how I truly felt about me.  I eliminated all of the negative and began a new foundation by realizing that I am a good looking guy.  We are all good looking people, we read in the scriptures that our bodies are a temple.  How dare I say that God's temple was not a beautiful thing.  How dare I question His creation because of what the "media" said I should be.  I needed to realize that it is not about what they think, it is about what God has create and what I think, and my wife with her words helped that situation as well.  We are all temples of God and with that said, God does not create ugly temples.  If you let society tell you different, you are falling prey to them and it is time to cut out that crap from your life.  

    I started to realize that yes I am one of God's great creations.  So with that said, why should I keep up with my body and my weight.  Then I realized that indeed this was too important.  Going back to the idea that your body is a temple I started to ask myself why am I putting so much crap into it?  It's bad enough I looked down upon it with my society influence outlook on what I should be, but I am also not taking care of my body!  I am cruising through life and not doing anything to make my body healthy and strong.  

      So I decided it was time, it was time to treat God's temple with the respect and honor it should be treated with.  This meant that yes, I would have to stop eating the way I ate, stop putting chemically altered crap into my body.  Sure, it tasted good.  Sure, it took care of those cravings I had for food.  But what did it do to my body?  IT destroyed my body!  It took away my health and made me an obese man who already had enough health problems to deal with.  I have a heart that won't let me run.  It wont let me be the person I had dreamed of being.  But this, I had to find out the hard way, is not about me.  The body and condition I have been given was a great blessing by the Lord.  This was me starting to lay down my new foundation, on the foundation of the Lord and the realization that he gave me this body knowing, knowing that I could take the ball and run with it.

     It was never in his plans to have me be some athlete or a mountain climber, or anything that takes a strong heart.  I needed to change my life and explore my deep down inner self to realize God knew what he was doing when he gave me the health conditions he gave me.  My foundation was finally laid.  I knew at that point what I had to do.  I knew that I could trust in the Lord, in his temple, in his creation that he knew what he was doing.  It has taken me 27 years to come to terms of my health.  It has taken me 3 months to change my life.  In 3 months I have laid down a new foundation.  That foundation is attacked daily but it holds strong.  


    I finally see me for me, not for what holds me back, but for what I have been given.  No longer am I going to allow society to influence my decisions.  I'm not going to let them determine how I feel about my body and I'm eliminating all of the negative words I use to think about myself.  I'm building back up my foundation, brick by brick, using the foundation of God and Jesus Christ.  My foundation laid, my bricks are going into place, it's a new life now.  I have taken control of my eating, I monitor almost daily what and how much I eat to know that my body is getting what it needs, not what I want.  I'm done with junk food, I don't need it.  I have eliminated most sugar (I don't eat anything with more than 10g of sugar in it).  Since I have decided to rebuild the temple that God has given me I have lost over 35 pounds, I sit right now at 210.  It is doable, this to me has not just been about weight loss anymore but a new lease and purpose on life.  I love my life now and all the blessings that I have.


Count your blessings
Remember you are one of God's temples
As we read in 1 Corinthians 3:16–17 

“Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?

“If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.”

The choices we make about the use of our personal temples will affect us throughout all eternity.

The story behind Cut The Crap

Why name it Cut The Crap?

     So the question becomes why would I pick a name that is so harsh?  It just seems a little mean doesn't it?  I mean sure I could have picked other titles like, my life story, how to cut the fat, becoming a better person one step at a time, etc etc etc.  The fact of the matter is, it is not easy.  For a majority of the people who read this it is going to take that smash-mouth, in your face, type of thought provoking influence. We have all had many opportunities to try to lose the weight, we have had many different diets and many different... "I can do this" thoughts but each time they have failed us.  So that is why it is time to get straight to the point and just admit... we need to cut the crap out of our life and it starts right here.

     Through prayer and realization, I have come to the conclusion that it was going to take some deep personal reflection to truly understand myself and what I need to do to become a better person.  Not just for myself, but also for my family.  I'm jumping ahead of myself however because, before our family, before our spouses, before our parents, but of course after God, we need to look in that mirror, we need to get comfortable with ourselves and see what truly is there.  First and foremost, with again the exception of God, this is for us!  This needs to be for you!  You must learn to love yourself and see what truly exists.  Inside each and every one of us there is a soul, there is a desire, a fire that burns deep down in the gully of your stomach, it's time to take a torch and light that puppy up!  

     I can't tell you exactly how to do this, but remember the title of this blog, it's time to cut the crap.  Stop lying to yourself!  You need to look into that mirror and be honest with yourself.  Quit lying, quit trying to shake everything off your shoulders and pretending that it does not affect you because we both know it does.  The first step to getting better is to stop lying to yourself and open up your soul to a discussion of fact and fiction.  This is your new beginning, your awakening to say the least.  

     This does not just have to be about weight loss but anything that is bothering you.  Let's now all take that first step, find a mirror, go into a bedroom and be by yourself, or just meditate, but get this one on one time you need.  Now that you are by yourself it's time to cut the crap.  Let it all out!  Do not hold back and if you have to break yourself down (this was my first step).  This is how I decided it was time to change my life, I let myself have it.  Now, the next step is to build yourself back up.  Tomorrow we will lay down that first brick and begin your new foundation the way I did.  It's time to learn to love ourselves, once we can love ourselves anything is possible!