The Shocker...

It was shocking to say the least...

     So people who read this blog may wonder just why it is a big deal that I desire to do things like jog around, play basketball, and things along that line.  First off, always being overweight it didn't take long for me to become out of breath and have my heart start acting up.  This would quickly end any sort of moving around.  However, up until I received my ICD implant I was able to do those things, even if just for a short amount of time.  Since the implant, I have not been able to play basketball or anything in that nature.

     A few months after having the device implanted, my parents and I moved into a new home.  I wanted to do something really cool with the landscaping in the backyard.  I decided I would dig out the back hill and create a type of garden that would go down the hill in tiers.  After planning how I would accomplish this and after getting the materials was ready to set off to work.

    I had dug out quite a bit over a period of time with no problem.  However, one day while digging I started to feel something very weird and different go on with my heart.  Suddenly I felt my device do a couple of weird beats followed suddenly by what I can only explain as being so powerfully punched in the chest that I almost fell onto my backside.  The taste of electricity engulfed all of my senses.  A dark cloud quickly washed over my day and a fear had started to be instilled into me.  

    This was the beginning of a new anxiety and fear being instilled into my mental state.  I started to become fearful of doing too much and knew that there were now many things which I could no longer do.  It killed me inside knowing that many of the things I loved were gone.  It was the true beginning of my depression and gaining of weight.  I no longer wanted to do anything more than just live carefully, it would only get worse later.

This is why I share...

Motivation

     "HI Adam! I started to read your cut the crap blog and found the calorie counter that you mentioned on there and started using it. Thanks so much for posting that site up. It has been a help for me in my weight loss goals. I've lost 5 pounds since i started using it. It is a great aid in helping to track what you are eating and making sure you are getting the right things in your body. You are AWESOME Adam! Thanks."

     When I began to blog, it was with the intention of letting everyone know that this is doable.  It takes hard work and dedication but for everyone out there, there is hope.  Growing up I was always overweight and let excuse after excuse after excuse stop me from being the healthy person I longed for deep down.

     This journey has been a long one, and I still struggle day in and day out to maintain what I have done.  If you are not struggling then likely you're not trying.  Daily I have to look in the mirror and remind myself the importance of being healthy.  Yesterday I did something I never thought I'd ever be able to do.  I played a game of half court basketball, I may not have been at full speed, and it may had been with my 8 year old scouts, but I was out there, shooting, passing, and just having a good time.  Every dream has to have a start, when are you going to start your dream?  

      

My heart

One thing I've noticed...

     These past few weeks there has been one change I have noticed while losing weight.  This change has been settle but non the less, has occurred.  It is the most exciting thing that has occurred during my diet.  It's not the weight I've loss, the energy I've gained, or the muscles that have been built.  It has to do with my heart.

     I have always had trouble with my heart.  From not allowing me to do sports, to the palpitations I would often get, and even the weird feelings I would get and would stop my life for a few minutes until it felt back to normal.  It has been a struggle and one that I at times was not willing to battle out.  Now that I am losing a lot of weight, I have notice the best change out of everything!

     No longer do I seem to have the palpitations.  I feel like a new man.  My heart does not act up getting out of the shower like it often did for some reason.  No longer does it bog me down when going for walks, or exercising.  This has been my greatest accomplishment to date.  I feel like a new person and have at times even felt like jogging.  Sure it's only a few feet, but I have never had that feeling before in my life and it is a new experience.    

     The question that has started up in my mind is how far do I push it?  I have had my ICD go off on four different occasions on me, and that is not a feeling I wish to have happen again.  But yet there is this yearning inside of me to jog, to play basketball again, or even just to power-walk for a few minutes. 

      So for now I sit here wondering what would happen if I Did try these?  I have a watch that monitors my heart, but would that be enough?  I guess I just keep on at what I'm doing and wait and see, but yet those desires to do the things I haven't been able to in years pull at my heart.  We'll see what happens, for now, one more step at a time.