Feels good

Words of Encouragement

     I think that the best feeling I have gotten from all of this, is the words that come from my wife.  Last night while we were getting ready for bed she noticed just how much I have lost from my legs.  She told me how she didn't think I had anything to lose from there, but now they were so "little" and muscular.  It is amazing how the small saying like that have a deep impact in me.  She is the biggest reason why I have accomplished anything in my adult life.

     If it was not for her I might still not be working, or if I was not the jobs that I have had and loved.  I know I never would have gone to school, I use to talk about it, but never did I act on it.  She made me believe in myself and encouraged me to take the next step, now I'm just two classes away from my bachelors degree.     

     When it came to losing weight, she was the biggest reason why.  I knew I had to and needed to do it for myself, but I think we all need external forces to help.  It was her believing in me that kicked all of this off.  For that, I thank her, for changing my life in many ways.  School, kids, and my own health.

Break The Walls Down

Breaking down a wall...

     Breaking down a wall can be very tough when it comes to your weight loss adventure. When starting, I set up many goals on the way to my main objective.  The biggest one was the passing of the 200 mark.  This wall, once miles away, is now at my doorstep.


     For years I have been over 200 pounds.  Honestly, I can't tell you how long it has been. I would have to say that the last time I was under the 200 mark would be sometime right before going into high school.  For years I just didn't care about my weight or what I was eating.  Looking back I wish I could take back what I was doing and change my behavior.  Of course this applies to many different situations in my life.  


     The main reason I didn't care about my weight was because I couldn't be an athlete.  So why not just eat the way I wanted to?  Food was good and I didn't want to miss out.  I didn't even think about the fact that the medium pizza I just ate was 2600 calories.  It was good and that was all that mattered.  It may be a little late in life, but I have realized that there is more to eating than, "It tastes good."


     Back to the point, 200 is huge to get under.  I didn't think it was even possible.  I figured I may just have to stay at 220 and call it good.  I have now proven that wrong.  For a week or two I have been close to going under 200.  The see-saw battle I was in finally unveiled a victor.  This morning I stepped onto the scale and on the screen popped 199.  Excited I called Katie into the room just to show her.  This has been one of my goals from the beginning.  Once unachievable, it is now life altering and a new motivation to keep going. My sledgehammer hungers for more walls to break down, and I'm ready for them!

Slipping sucks

 It happens...

     Last week Kate and I decided that we would go out on a date and enjoy some personal one on one time.  That morning I weighed myself in at 201.  This was going to be a great day, lost weight, get some alone time with my wife, what could go wrong? 

     We went out to a Thai restaurant and had some really good food.  I decided that hey, I was close to being under 200, I could go one day without worrying about what I am eating and just enjoy the day.  Not saying that you shouldn't do this, because it is important to once in a while enjoy yourself and take off the burden of measuring just about everything.  However, this has come back to bite me hard, I think I went overboard. 

     We had some really good food, and afterwords we went out bowling.  We had a great time and really enjoyed ourselves.  Of course I'm not going to tell you how bad I did bowling.  It's been almost two years since I had bowled haha.  Also I'm almost positive those lanes were smaller than most, but anyways. 

     I woke up that morning and stepped on the scale, 208.  I rubbed my eyes, made sure I was awake and then checked the scale to make sure no one had messed with any of the settings.  I sat the scale back down and tried again, and sure enough it was still 208.  That was back breaking.  How did I gain 7 pounds in just one day? 

     That day I decided what is the point and decided again to eat whatever I want without calculating it.  I did exercise however and was pleased when I didn't gain any more.  Quickly I put myself back into the right state of mind and started back on my long trek.  It is six days later and I'm back down to 204.  Just comes to show that there will always be bumps in the road, it's all about what you do when those bumps get in your way.  Sometimes it's hard, but remember why you started your diet.  I quickly remembered the importance of being healthy.  I realized I am going to slip, it's alright too, but don't let it drag me under.

To stumble is to learn...

Stumbling Blocks shouldn't block you...

     Many times I have fallen during my diets.  I would get to a certain point or a certain weight and be excited with what I had accomplished.  However, it would only take one stumbling block to make me feel like I couldn't maintain it and would give up, reverting to my old ways.  It was one stumble after another after another.  I would allow anything to give me the excuse to quit and not worry about it anymore.  In recent years, since getting married to Kate and having kids, I tried a few times to lose weight.

     The first time I was able to get down to 245 pounds from my 287 weight.  I was going to the gym, working out, and eating better.  Then in April 2008, everything changed.  I was working at my job as a delivery driver and was hit by another driver.  My back received some compression fractures and my knee was injured (resulting in knee surgery).  I decided that losing weight was no longer important, since I wasn't physically able to do much for many months.  I know that is a good reason, but there was no reason for me to start eating the way I did.  I gained back the 40 pounds I had lost.  

     I know that it was hard to exercise while being in a turtle shell and that I was not able to do much, but I didn't track my calories anymore and was eating like I shouldn't have been.  It took me a long time to recover and give losing weight another chance.  You can look at my earlier blog and see my picture from October 2009, I still had all the weight back on me.  

     Between 2009 and up until a few months ago, I was up and down on my weight.  I would go for a few weeks while working out and eating right, just to give up or let one bad day ruin all the progress I had made.  I don't know why but I just could not keep it up.

      In December I knew that my diets would never lead to anywhere and that I was going to stay unhealthy if I didn't make a change.  I needed to lose weight, get healthy, and stop allowing one little hiccup stop me.  I became determined to instead of letting those stumbling blocks get in my way, to instead use them as motivation and create a deeper desire inside of me.  

     I prayed and I broke myself down.  When I was building up my new foundation I prayed and thought about how I can use those stumbling blocks to my advantage.  One thing I found was when I would stumble I needed to see what caused that stumble and how to get around it.  Once I would find the root of the problem, whether it be depression, anger, boredom, or just laziness, I would look at how to use that to my advantage. 

     It's finding that opportunity that seems to be the hardest part about stumbling.  In times of depression or anger, I noticed that yoga would greatly help me with those issues.  Yoga allows me to collect my thoughts and be able to just think about what it is that is bothering me.  On top of that, I would get the exercise I needed by the stretching yoga provides.  

     In times of boredom, I knew that I couldn't just sit around and eat.  I needed to occupy my mind.  Whether I read my scriptures, worked out, or went for a walk, I would find something to do.  It is very important to not let those stumbles get in your way.  I have learned that gaining knowledge and learning from those stumbles makes you stronger and healthier.  

 

I broke myself down and started over...

I found myself...

     Once I peeled my onion away and looked at what there was, I was amazed at what I had let myself become.  For once in my lifetime, I eliminated everything I had been told about myself and how society told me I should view myself.  I was tired of all of the negativity and how it affected not just me, but also my family.  No longer did I want to allow what the media wanted, but instead what was needed for me, my relationship with God, and my family.  So once I peeled away everything and broke myself down now it was time to find myself and see just what type of a person I was and could be.  

    First thing was first, I had to look at myself and tell myself just how I truly felt about me.  I eliminated all of the negative and began a new foundation by realizing that I am a good looking guy.  We are all good looking people, we read in the scriptures that our bodies are a temple.  How dare I say that God's temple was not a beautiful thing.  How dare I question His creation because of what the "media" said I should be.  I needed to realize that it is not about what they think, it is about what God has create and what I think, and my wife with her words helped that situation as well.  We are all temples of God and with that said, God does not create ugly temples.  If you let society tell you different, you are falling prey to them and it is time to cut out that crap from your life.  

    I started to realize that yes I am one of God's great creations.  So with that said, why should I keep up with my body and my weight.  Then I realized that indeed this was too important.  Going back to the idea that your body is a temple I started to ask myself why am I putting so much crap into it?  It's bad enough I looked down upon it with my society influence outlook on what I should be, but I am also not taking care of my body!  I am cruising through life and not doing anything to make my body healthy and strong.  

      So I decided it was time, it was time to treat God's temple with the respect and honor it should be treated with.  This meant that yes, I would have to stop eating the way I ate, stop putting chemically altered crap into my body.  Sure, it tasted good.  Sure, it took care of those cravings I had for food.  But what did it do to my body?  IT destroyed my body!  It took away my health and made me an obese man who already had enough health problems to deal with.  I have a heart that won't let me run.  It wont let me be the person I had dreamed of being.  But this, I had to find out the hard way, is not about me.  The body and condition I have been given was a great blessing by the Lord.  This was me starting to lay down my new foundation, on the foundation of the Lord and the realization that he gave me this body knowing, knowing that I could take the ball and run with it.

     It was never in his plans to have me be some athlete or a mountain climber, or anything that takes a strong heart.  I needed to change my life and explore my deep down inner self to realize God knew what he was doing when he gave me the health conditions he gave me.  My foundation was finally laid.  I knew at that point what I had to do.  I knew that I could trust in the Lord, in his temple, in his creation that he knew what he was doing.  It has taken me 27 years to come to terms of my health.  It has taken me 3 months to change my life.  In 3 months I have laid down a new foundation.  That foundation is attacked daily but it holds strong.  


    I finally see me for me, not for what holds me back, but for what I have been given.  No longer am I going to allow society to influence my decisions.  I'm not going to let them determine how I feel about my body and I'm eliminating all of the negative words I use to think about myself.  I'm building back up my foundation, brick by brick, using the foundation of God and Jesus Christ.  My foundation laid, my bricks are going into place, it's a new life now.  I have taken control of my eating, I monitor almost daily what and how much I eat to know that my body is getting what it needs, not what I want.  I'm done with junk food, I don't need it.  I have eliminated most sugar (I don't eat anything with more than 10g of sugar in it).  Since I have decided to rebuild the temple that God has given me I have lost over 35 pounds, I sit right now at 210.  It is doable, this to me has not just been about weight loss anymore but a new lease and purpose on life.  I love my life now and all the blessings that I have.


Count your blessings
Remember you are one of God's temples
As we read in 1 Corinthians 3:16–17 

“Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?

“If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.”

The choices we make about the use of our personal temples will affect us throughout all eternity.

Yes... I have been there

Hold On...

Before I get too deep in this I want those who read this to know I have been there. I have had depression, I have thought this is it, and that I didn't want to live again. I'm not spouting off stuff that I have not myself experienced. I want you to know that I have been there, maybe not as deep as some but the battle is all the same. We all have an experience to learn here while on this Earth. We must rise up against the opposition in our life and overcome all of our short comings. We can do this, I will do all I can to help you on my side, but you have to pull your weight as well. Stop with the excuses, stop telling yourself you can't because you can do this, let's do this right here right now!

Proof is in the picture (taken in October 2009). Posted you see me with my Titan's jersey I bought after getting my ICD. This shirt right here was a 4x, no I did not fit it but my goal was to. I was so depressed that I felt this was my end result, I didn't care how fat I got and I knew deep down I wanted to fit that shirt. I didn't care how long I was going to live, all I knew was I was going to live the way I wanted to. I started to question my purpose on this world and why had God sent me here to just have complications and now more limitations than I knew what to do with.

I didn't care anymore, I wanted to waste away and enjoy all of the food I could. I drank, I ate, and the most activity I had in my day was walking from the computer to the fridge. When you don't feel needed by anyone and that it is just you against the world what was the point?

The point is this, God loves you! He wants you to prosper and gain knowledge and seek the best for yourself. If you are married like I became, you find out that there is so much to live for! My wife, my kids, and myself. I needed to change and so I decided that I was not going to let myself fill that shirt. If you are not married, there are still those who love you and want the best for you! I can tell you right now, God loved you so much he sent his only begotten. It's time to learn to love yourself and to cut the crap. It's a battle but you and I can do this! We can defeat the demons that are haunting your life and start one step at a time.

This is me now compared to my 4x jersey, I can fit a little more than two of me in this shirt. This shirt when I put it on makes it look like a dress now. No longer is my goal to fill this shirt, it is to inspire others to overcome their deepest ravines and rise above it. I have overcome these demons and continue the battle to this very day. Let's do this, lets keep walking in the path of righteousness and improving your health! Start off small, the first thing I want you to do is open up an account at Sparkpeople.com. This place will give you the start you need, come back tomorrow for more!

I've been there, you can over come the demons with me!
Be strong!
One step at a time!
It's time to breath courage into your soul!

The Beginning

(2008, 265 pounds)

Why am I doing this?

In 2005 my life took a major turn. Being born with a heart problem (Transposition of the great vessels) I knew one day that my heart would need to receive help from an outside source. Growing up was hard, I was not able to do much in the way of cardio, playing sports was hard, and I could never run more than a lap around the track before becoming winded and having complications. This lead to weight gain all my life and always being obese. In 2005 I went up to Spokane, Washington to do some physical tests for a heart doctor I started seeing after having palpitations while working.

With the exercise done it was time for the bad news. My doctor had seen that while doing this stress test my heart entered dangerous ventricular tachycardia that could possibly continue into a string of them and causing heart failure. So besides just going onto a day's load of medicine it was also suggested that I obtain an ICD be placed into my heart. After three surgeries and the implantation of the device I was sent home to start my new life. Depression set in, and then one day while outside trying to do some landscaping my device went off and shocked me, knocking me back and almost to the ground.

I was 25 years old, I had a pacemaker, I couldn't do anything that required too much physical effort, and I felt trapped. How was I going to lose weight? How was I going to become healthy let alone ever raise a family? Depression set in heavy, I gained more weight than I ever had and ballooned up to 290 pounds.

At the beginning of the next year I met my wonderful wife Kate. She brought me a family to live for but I still didn't improve myself. I stayed at the weight and only slightly lost, I was content at being obese and didn't think of how my decisions affected others. Then Kate and I decided to join a gym and I decided to try and lose weight, enough was enough and I needed to change my life, for myself, for my family, and for my future.

Every time I would lose the weight it seemed that something would happen. I would get hurt, I would get into a car accident, I would gain the weight back and it felt like a never ending battle, so although I was only now down to 260 I decided that is where I wanted to stay. I was still obese, I was still eating whatever I wanted, how much I wanted, and didn't care about what it was doing to my body. I lived my life how I felt I should live it. In September 2010 I took a good look at myself, a good look at my body, and decided I hated what I saw, I hated that I gave in and decided to just accept myself for what I was. I knew that it was enough with the talking, cut the crap, and start showing people that someone with my limitations can indeed prosper and lose the weight.

With my wife's and her parents help I was able to start changing my eating habits. I decided enough was enough with the excuses, I needed to cut out all the crap of my life and live for myself, my family, and my health and to show and motivate others that they too can do it! If I wanted to help others better themselves, I had to better myself first. I want to motivate others, I want to show you that you can cut out the crap in your life and that you too can follow the same path I did and get your life back!

I am going to be posting blogs as often as I can, from what I have done to what I am doing. I want to teach those who want to listen, and help those who want to be helped. I'm not doing this to give myself a pat on the back, I'm doing this to change lives! You don't need a gym, you don't need a nutritionist, what you need is to cut out the crap! Stop making excuses, stop telling yourself you can't do this because lets be honest, you can! Since being 290 pounds I am down to 212. I have lost 78 pounds. In January of 2011 I weighed 245 and was again just coasting. In just three months I have dropped 33 pounds by cutting it all out.

Follow my blog, I'm going to keep you updated, I'm going to give you tips and let you know how I learned to prosper, I will have recipes for you to try, and exercises that will make your body feel better and you feel better. This is the beginning of your change, you are going to come out of your cocoon with me. I'm not done, and I know there are many of you out there that want to start and make yourself a better person.

Do this for you
Do this for your family
Do this for your health
Do this to improve your life and fall in love with yourself!






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